Pointless Joke Alert

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell.

Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair.

The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you.... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man did not smile, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"


Well it amused me!

P.S the quiz is still going so keep posting your answers and I will update as and when needed

Quiz of the Week Reprisal

Ok I haven't done one of these for a few weeks, so I thought those quiz minded of you out there would like another fab anagram quiz. Alright if the truth be known I've been that busy recently I haven't had the time to find something interesting to blog about, unless you really want to hear me complaining about work (even I wouldn't want to read about that!)

That's enough waffle on with the quiz....Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin (remember these are all names of bands or singers)

1. Stop Jock & Stop Jock - Womack & Womack - Ruby
2. Dickie, Groucho, Harpo, Zeppo - Richard Marx - Billy
3. Babies on the Slab - New Kids on the Block - Ruby
4. Treacherous Vicar - Judas Priest - Molly Bloom
5. Little Sisters don't like them - Big Brovaz - The whales
6. Insanity - Madness - Molly Bloom
7. Blokes Grafting
8. In the Cellar cars are lifted - Basement Jaxx - Real Doc
9. Merlin - Wizard - Molly Bloom
10. I'm Fanatical towards the girl
11. Disturbed vision - Blur - Real Doc
12. Prosperous City Vermin - Boomtown Rats - Real Doc
13. Plasters - Band Aid - Trac
14. Desperate Trouble
15. Rub out Midge - Erasure - Ruby
16. Preserve Reflect on Famous River - Jamirouquai - Ruby
17. Greenhouse Plants - Hothouse Flowers - Ruby
18. South American Indian Instamatic - Aztec Camera - The whales
19. A Friendly Prickly Bush - Buddy Holly - Button
20. Hard of Hearing Wildcat - Def Leppard - Molly Bloom
21. Germany with Coronary Regulators - Gerry and the Pacemakers - The Whales
22. Dorothy's Dog - Toto - Molly Bloom
23. Queen of the Slimming World - Thin Lizzy - Ruby
24. Manweb Bulb Band - ELO - Button
25. William's vacation - Billie Holiday - The Whales
26. Ol' Blue eyes off to make a movie - Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Molly Bloom
27. Fun Park Magnetic Effect - Fairground Attraction - Trac
28. Uncomplicated Primary Colour - Simply Red - Trac
29. The Cost of watching a Comet - Bill Hayley - Howsey
30. Man Friday's partner in Flames - Smokey Robinson - Howsey


Well there you go I'm sure these won't keep you busy for very long. Anyway good luck and have fun

Congratulations

I would just like to say well done to my friend Steve. He recently beet 500 candidates to become Dudley Learning Partnerships Learner of the year. So it's a a big pat on the back for him. Below is a picture of him recieving his award from the mayor of Dudley





Oh yeah and happy birthday Steve (he's 50 today)


UPDATE

The lovely shinny new trophy Steve is holding in the photo above has unfortuantly met with a small accident and is now in about 3 million pieces..oopppss!! But not to worry he has already ordered a replacement. Don't break this one Steve

Why?

1.) Why is it every time I go on holiday I come back to work to find the temp I spent a week and a half training has buggered off on the first day of my holidays, leaving me with 2 weeks worth of paperwork (my desk looks like a rainforest has exploded over it) to attempt to catch up with?

2.) Why is it when i'm faced with a veritable mountain of work to do something always occurs which doubles my workload?

3.) Why is it our bought ledger department never get anything wrong ?

4.) Why is it when out bought ledger deparment do cock up it's always my fault ? (and I don't even work for the same department as them !!!!)

5.) Ok I lied there'd no number five. This has not been a good week in workland.



P.S I stole the list ide from Billy

A Picture Paints A Thousand Words - Part 1 Bangkok

Well here goes, as i'm no where near elequent enough (unlike my fellow bloggers such as Mr Swipe, Billy, Heather and the delightfull Molly, who are far better wordsmiths than myself) I thought I would let the pictures do the talking for me.

So sit back relax (try not to get too bored) grab yourself a drop of your favorite tipple and enjoy (well try)

Ok first stop Bangkok. This was the first place I visited. It looks a little like this









I was reliably informed that Bangkok is based on LA where the car is king. The city has no centre it's pretty much a mixture of skyscrapers, slums and the odd temple.

Traffic jams are plenty in Bangkok. It doesn't matter if they're on the roads or the waterways





I was actually in one of these boats, which all told are fairly unstable especially when negotiation corners. I really thought I would be going for a swim! This picture is taken at the floating market just outside of Bangkok.

I managed quite a few modes of transport when I was on holiday. There were planes, the odd boat (some of them were very odd) and I even took a little train journey



This is the train in question. We were actually trundling down what is known as the Death railway. Thousands of alied soldiers died in it's construction, it's a pretty sobering thought. The call it the Jeath railway in Thailand. Basically the name contains the capital letters of all the countries connected with it (Japan, England, Austraila, Thailand and Holland).




So if I went there I most certainly went to see the bridge, and the cemetary. These 2 places were really quite sad. I think the Cemetary was the saddest place, all those markers, line after line it really bought everything into perspective.



So finally on to the one thing there are plenty of in Bangkok. They say that in America there is Starbucks on every corner. Well In Bangkok there is a Temple on every street. So I will leave you with the most famous inhabitants of 2 of these temples. The Golden Buddah (who is solid gold) and the Reclining Buddah (who is plaster, covered in gold leaf, with mother of pearl inlaid into his feet)




So there you go that's my little pictorial guide to Bangkok and the surrounding areas. I hope you enjoyed it. My next installment will be the sights of Hong Kong so stay tuned it will be coming to a blog near you soon.

Way Out East

Ok maybe not anymore. So after 8 aeroplanes, 5 Coaches, 4 Boats, 1 train and a tri-shaw later I have arrived back on English soil (very damp English soil) I've had a great holiday, even if it wasn't very relaxing. I will at some point load some photo's on here so you can see what i got up to.

I certainly packed quite a lot into my 2 weeks away, some of which include a trip down the death railway and a visit to the bridge over the river Kwai, a Sai Pan ride around Hong Kong harbour as well as a trip on the famous Star Ferry (which was very expensive at 14 pence for a return journey), high tea at Raffles Hotel (this was very posh and fabulous) and a tri-shaw ride around Hua Hin. I will put some photo's up on here to illustrate the fun that was had, including some of the tropical storms that occurred whilst I was out there.

I have to say the three placed I wen't couldn't be more different. Bangkok was a strange mixture of beautiful modern hotels and skyscrapers and shanty towns, and there is literally a temple on every corner! The Thai people are so nice, nothing is too much trouble, they really look after you. Hong Kong was just busy, very busy. It's pretty much a jungle of skyscrapers, which thrive on pollution. The air in Hong Kong is terrible I know why the people there wear those masks, I could have done with one after a day. And then there's Singapore , which is simply beautiful. It's peaceful (well anywhere could be considered peacefull after Hong Kong) it's a fascinating mixture of the colonial and the new, it's a great place to relax.

Anyway that's all for now. I will put some photo's up that I hope will illustrate my incoherent witterings. I'd just like to say I'm glad to be back, and I look forward to catching up with everyone soon.